This is not what I expected.
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Reader, It's valid for you to want - communicating with your kids - to feel easier and more peaceful (even if those states are ever-shifting). But does it feel impossible to achieve? If you're nodding yes, don't miss my new interview with trauma therapist and author, Ingrid Clayton, Ph.D. Okay, so... Maybe you're feeling judged by others. But instead of feeling supported, you might be thinking π€ -
Any of these scripts running through your head? Sometimes, our nervous systems ignore our intentions. We want to be patient and use a neutral tone - but our bodies are sending us in the opposite direction. You might even wonder - If I'm "supposed" to feel empathy for this child, but I ONLY feel frustration (or even rage) - THEN WHAT? It's not that you're doing it "wrong" (no judgmentβlet that go), and it's not that empathy and compassion "don't work" for your kids. But it could be that you weren't supported in the ways you needed as a child (consciously or unconsciously). If you spiral at typical "childish" behaviors (but are steady as a rock in a crisis) - perhaps your tolerance for stress is maxed out. You can't give what you don't have! βI had the honor of chatting with Ingrid Clayton, Ph.D., author of the memoir Believing Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma - and a trauma therapist who, at first, didn't think her own childhood was THAT bad (it was). And she's breaking it all down for us. Maybe you're aware of your past and determined to stop the cycle of harm in your family. OR maybe you think, "My childhood was fine. Not perfect, but there wasn't anything traumatic." Either way, if you're struggling to set limits without yelling and handing out consequences (over and over), I think you'll love what she has to share. We delve into this epidemic of silent pain in childhood, how it hides behind suburban normalcy - and then shows up in our parenting without our conscious awareness. If you've ever had your body overtaken with feelings of anger or rage that you can't control (or understand) - definitely watch this interview to find out what's behind it all. Ingrid shares her personal history and expertise, why talk therapy isn't helpful for trauma, and five ways you can practice self-regulation when your kids are driving you bananas. It's not easy being a parent, and it's even more complicated if you did not have the support of a loving family and strong relationships in childhood. Actually, it's almost impossible (almost!). If you're on the road to healing and want to improve your relationship with your child - definitely check out my conversation with Ingrid here. Ahh, Reader, thank you SO much for being here. I hope you have a beautiful week. And please remember, it's about being conscious - not perfect! Warmly, β p.s. Oh, I almost forgot, one of my favorite parts of our convo is when Ingrid says there is a gift in watching online parenting content (and it has nothing to do with our kids). Such good stuff. β βBetter Communication = Better Relationshipsββ β Spread the Loveβ Level UP Your Communication Raise Respectful Kidsβ |
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